Transgender Identity in children

Transgender Identity in children

An insight on how it feels to be different at a young age

Many of us have somewhat of an idea of how it feels to be different. Maybe we have been bullied early on in our lives or have had difficulty getting along with our peers. But have you ever wondered how it felt to be a child feeling shut out simply because you were born in the wrong body? To be told at a very young age that you should not exist and that your identity must be what you were assigned at birth.

Many of these issues are experienced by a growing number of trans-identified children in our society at present time. Many are confused and afraid of how they feel based on their gender identity. There have been studies that children as young as 3 years of age have started identifying as the gender opposite of what they were assigned at birth, but all of that quickly can become tarnished with shame and fear by the judgement of parents. Fear can become isolating to the true identity of that child.

At a young age, children can become very anxious and stressed with out being aware of these feelings. A child’s mind is innocent, curious and craves knowledge of the unknown. For a child, there is no bias on whether it is better to be a boy or a girl, they just simply feel and identify as to what they feel they are. A recent story covered was of a 3 year old in Berkeley, CA named Thomas who had a speech impediment and he signed to himself, “I am a girl.”

Oh look, he’s confused,” his parents said. Maybe he mixed up the signs for boy and girl. So they signed back. “No, no. Thomas is a boy.”

Regardless of what gender Thomas was assigned at birth, and that he was physically male, the toddler felt that he is a girl. Even being bullied in school and teased by his peers, he simply told them that he will always be a girl and that’s what he is.  Such a strong and powerful statement coming form a child. Having to stand by what Thomas felt was the right gender he wanted to be identified as.

When children like Thomas insist that their gender identity is different from which they are assigned at birth, there becomes a disconnect between their sex (which is anatomy) and gender, which includes activities, roles, and behavior. Thomas’ parents have allowed her to live her life as a girl, raised her as a girl and has since been called Tammy. Tammy is now 11 years of age.

When children insist they are a different gender early on, for the parents there can be a lot of judgement and fear; it can send the family to a lot of confusion since transgenderism is clouded by a lot stigma, very misunderstood and are feared by many; This sends parents at a tough predicament for majority yearn for what is the best for their child.  As a protective mechanism, parents at most times are forced to apply those same fears and judgements towards their children who they feel is doing the wrong thing and having the wrong ideas.

Gender identity falls under a very wide and complicated umbrella. There are over 50 different gender identities today in which people can identify and use. Many also confuse gender identity with sexual orientation which are two different things. Gender Identity is who we are and sexual orientation is who we want to have sex with. Simple as that. In Tammy’s case, a 3 year old will probably not want to have sex with anyone, so her gender identity is clearly driven by who she naturally is.

As a society we must be open to new and endless possibilities. In order to truly crush hatred and stigma, we must support our youth for they are the future of this world. Like Tammy’s parents, they seen their child’s future as who she truly wanted to be. Gender maybe a very complicated and scary subject, but that is only because of the fear our society has generated with labels in regards to gender identity and sexual orientation. We must extinguish that fear and have an open mind especially for our youth. Let us be supportive of the next generation and take the next step in acceptancing a third gender:TRANSGENDER.

Transsexual Dating for Dummies

Transsexual Dating for Dummies

The basics of dating a transsexual woman

Many of you have wondered what it’s like to date a transsexual woman. Well here is a guide on the basics on what to expect when dating a woman who is a little different that your average Jane. The purpose of this article to give you some insight on what to expect when dating transsexuals. The basics on proper grammar, etiquette and behavior.

I will list some of the basic questions and concerns that men have when thinking of dating a transsexual woman  also I will state some the “NO NO’s” that should be taken into consideration.

Saying the word “Tranny” to a transsexual.

      This term is very offensive to some transsexual individuals. People should be more sensitive and Transgender or transsexual are the right terms to be used. Or “T-Girl” for short.

2.   Asking about surgeries is totally rude and inappropriate!

  When I have met guys for the first time or have gone on dates with them, many ask inappropriate questions such as surgeries. Many men believe it is okay to ask whether our breasts are real, whether we have gotten sexual reassignment surgery (sex change) or facial surgeries. People need to understand that transsexuals are humans too not a lab rat that you can dissect with offensive and personal questions.

3.   Never say “I see you as a woman” or “There is no way you were born a man,”

  Transsexual women were assigned male at birth. We have always been women but had no choice but to lead lives that society forced upon us until we were brave enough to come out of our shell . When men tell me these comments it tells me that even though they tell me they see me as a woman,  it still leaves a connotation that a part of me in their eyes is not what a perceive to be. Kind of like a back handed compliment. I just want to tell people that even though most of you don’t mean to offend, it still is offensive.

4. Asking us whether we think you are “GAY” for liking us.

     We have spent all of our lives being judged by people and obviously we took that leap to face the world and were courageous enough to not care what anyone says. So going back to #3 on the list, when men say they see us as women then comment on how they have to question their sexuality with our help, doesn’t do any good for our psyche. Men just need to be comfortable in their own skin and know that they are dating women PERIOD! Thee fact that Transsexual women transition and have to fight to be women make us more women than most genetic women out there.

5. Asking us sexual questions….

Whenever I date men, they seem to think that just because in their minds I was born male and assigned male at birth that I think just like they do. That I am constantly thinking about sex. This is not the case gentlemen. Transsexual women are wired differently. We think differently and we are much more sensitive than your average woman. Because of the hormone therapy and psychological abuse that we have to go through just to be ourselves in society. Keep in mind that we are ladies and ladies should be treated with respect!

So these are the 5 basics on what to keep in mind when it comes to dating a transsexual woman. Remember to be mindful of your words and be a gentleman. Us transsexual women love chivalry and appreciate a good man. So if you are just wondering what to expect when it comes to dating us I hope this short guide helps.

XOXO

EVA

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